How to keep kids happy and yourself sane during the COVID-19 Coronavirus home quarantine!
Lockdown. Stay at Home. Flatten the curve. Social Distancing. These are phrases used daily by world leaders trying to grapple with the difficult reality of fighting what has now become a global pandemic. In December 2019 when we saw news reports on this new Covid-19 disease sweeping parts of China, few people gave thought to it reaching our doors and affecting our own lives. But it is here, and we need to learn how to live with it.
The reaction of many countries is to close schools and ask people to stay home. Simple enough it would seem, but the reality for many working parents is far from easy. With day to day life structure suddenly disappearing, children are testing the boundaries of their new norm - ‘the school of mom and dad’. Whereas schools have rigid structure to lessons and frequent recess time for burning energy, this is not easily replicated at home under a lockdown.
Whilst parents desperately try to remember who and what Pythagoras was and why San Francisco gets more earthquakes than New York, they are also trying to hold down their jobs and figure out ‘working from home’ - or if that's even possible! Layer on top of this the worry about catching the virus yourself, keeping your kids and parents safe (neither of which seem to understand the concept of a 'lockdown') and making sure adequate supplies of food are available (which are disappearing at a faster rate than normal from your cupboards as everyone is home and eating more!). As days turn to weeks with no end in sight, it is very easy for parents to become overwhelmed by these enormous challenges that have been thrust upon them with almost no warning.
However, all is not lost.
You can do this! - Manage to keep the kids learning, your work going and your sanity in place! Below are our top 10 tips for parents to survive this lockdown:
- Acceptance – one of the greatest causes of stress in these situations is the stresses we put on ourselves. Obsessively watching the news for the latest announcements, trying to do as much work as we would do if we were in the office, trying to get the kids to do as many topics as they would have done if they were in school. Stop! There are not enough hours in the day! The quicker we accept that we cannot ‘carry on as normal’ then the sooner the stress levels will decrease. If we put unrealistic expectations and pressures on ourselves, we are going to fail. Acceptance of the situation is the first step. It is not desired; it is what it is so we need to make the best of it we can.
- Value one to one time – with workplaces and schools being closed we have never had more time to spend quality time together. Set time aside each day to spend 1 on 1 time with each child. Even 20 minutes a day will have a massive impact on both you and your children. It doesn’t matter what you do, play games, talk, ask them about their interests. Listen to music, watch their favorite film or even create a TikTok together! Modern life does not give us much quality time to spend with our children so seize the opportunity whilst you have it.
- Stay Positive – Positive is probably the last thing you feel at the moment but remember children will be anxious too. They may not voice their fears, but they cannot avoid hearing the daily number of deaths on news programs and as parents we need to reassure them. Praise children for good behavior or for completing school work. But rather than say ‘that is great, well done’ explain why it is good e.g. ‘awesome job on putting the toys away, you have put them all in the right boxes well done!’ At the end of each day talk with your kids about all the positive things that have been achieved that day.
- Encourage social connections – it is not only parents that miss social interactions. In an average day, children will spend far more time with their friends than their parents do. Social distancing is preventing them from sharing, playing with and supporting each other and so we need to help keep these connections strong. Encourage your kids to talk to friends at least once a day. This will bring some normality back into their lives and reduce anxiety. It will also help them to keep these connections strong for once the lock down is over.
- Add some structure – whereas most children will not respond well to a strict schedule of daily events that will happen at a certain time in the day come what may, most children do need (as do most parents!) some structure. Agree a flexible daily schedule with your children, make sure they are part of the creation process so that they feel invested in it. Include exercise and free time as well as home education and chores. This will not only help them to feel more relaxed about their day but as parent you will be able to plan your opportunities for work (or just a quiet cup of coffee!)
- Help your children to adapt – there are many new ‘rules’ that are being imposed on households or recommended that we do and this can be really confusing for children. For many kids the more demands they have on them the more they will object. Take time to explain why we need to social distance and wash our hands for 20 seconds as what might be obvious for an adult is not always so for a child. For young children turn things into a game. For example, download our free handwashing charts to encourage kids to count to twenty, or to wash every part of their hands correctly. Have a competition to see who can touch their face the least during the day with a reward for the winner. (You will be surprised how many times your kids will catch you doing it!)
- Managing melt downs – let’s face it they are going to happen! Being cooped up for an indefinite period of time is going to lead to disagreements but how we manage them will influence their severity and frequency. Try and diffuse the situation before it escalates. As parents we often have that sixth sense when your child is going to loose it or is getting hyper from over stimulation. Diffuse. Distract. Fall off your chair if you need to, but do something to break their train of thought and stop them escalating. Sometimes just laughing at a situation when your child is expecting you to yell works a treat!
- and Breathe! – take time each day to relax (lock yourself in your bathroom if you need to!) Just one minute of focused deep breathing can work wonders. Use YouTube to have a family yoga session, at the very least this will get everyone laughing!
- Prep time – after a few days of home schooling you will be thinking how on earth do teachers do it?? How do they keep the kids busy?? Preparation is everything! Once the kids are in bed spend a short time online printing off activities for the following day or finding the link to the science exhibition you want to watch with them. So when you start schooling the following day you have everything to hand – just like the kids are used to in school.
- Talk to your kids – this new world of people talking about deaths, hospitals and viruses can be very frightening for kids of all ages. Take time to talk to them and explain what is going on. Stick to facts but reassure that all the measures you as a household are taking will help protect your family. It’s OK not to know all the answers.
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